1 post tagged “fruit brute”
Someone please tell me what's going on here. A werewolf getting his own cereal, okay. Fruit flavored cereal, sure. Lime marshmallows? No howling way.
Look, bear with me for a second. Count Chocula craves chocolate instead of blood... that almost makes sense. Boo Berry is a pun on 'blueberry'. Yeah, why not? But having lime-flavored marshmallows in a cereal with a werewolf mascot isn't just wrong, it's potentially life-threatening.
We all know that wolfies crave meat, not fruit. But if you're willing to go that far, why give them limes? Are the loup-garou particularly susceptible to scurvy? Does the color go well with their fur? Are we expecting that the limes will transform themselves into ravening, yowling werefruit that pursues and consumes the hapless and innocent?
Actually, that would be kind of funny... but I digress. Such confusion is doubtless why General Mills decided to pull the plug on this one after a while. This, and all the other monster-themed cereals they had going. Word on the street is (and by 'street', of course, I mean 'in my imagination') that the various flavors of Real monsters out there were getting offended by their portrayal in the grocery aisles and television sets of the world, and gathered together a consortium of powerful entities whose sole purpose was to devour the architects of these breakfast products. "Stick with your goofy, simple-minded birds and leprechauns," they said, "or one of these days we'll fortify you with vitamins and minerals! You know. 'Cause, we'd be eating you. It's like a poetic justicey kinda threat... 'cause you eat representations of us, and we'd be... you know what? Nevermind. Just... just stop making that crap, okay?"
I saw a werewolf drinking a piña colada at Trader Vic's
and his hair was perfect
-- "Werewolves of London", Warren Zevon
