Friday the 13th: the Luckiest Day of the Year
According to lore -- and by "lore", of course, I mean "Wikipedia" -- there really is no supportable reason behind the fact that traditionally, Friday the 13th is considered a day of bad luck. Mostly, it's a concatenation of the belief that Fridays are unlucky, and that the number Thirteen is similarly unlucky. But you have to admit: it's been pretty unlucky for Jason Voorhees' victims. And as a side note: Jason, look, I get the whole "iconic" thing, okay? But c'mon, that hockey mask is SO 80's! Kick it to the curb, man! Update your look. I'm thinking... Michael Jackson mask. Now THAT dude is scary! Wha -- no, I'm not taking a dig at the guy's music -- hell no! I love Off the Wall! ... WHAT? "Man In the Mirror"? Man, Michael would FREAK OUT if he ever saw a man in HIS mirror!
Hold up, hold up. I gotta audiocast to do. I'll talk to you later, Jason. Mm-kay. Give my love to your sister. Bye.
Anyway: Friday the 13th. Like so much of what passes for culture these days, this phenomenon seems to exist simply because people expect it to exist. It's like not wearing green on St. Patrick's day -- suddenly, everyone's Irish, and out to pinch the holy hell outta you. It's assumed behavior, based on nothing more than hearsay, and a ton of media behind it. Take your favorite sitcom, for example. Writers stuck for ideas? Base an episode around Friday the 13th, have one of your characters take it so seriously that they refuse to go outside for fear of something awful happening, and boom! HILARITY AND HIJINKS!
But I'm here to tell you: Friday the 13th is, in fact, the luckiest day of the year. Why? Because of Newton's Third Law of Motion that states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Lemme 'splain, Loosy.
There is something insidious and powerful to the adage "Opposites attract". People who are allergic to cats find themselves constantly at the center of feline attention.
Allergic human: Crap, you didn't tell me you have a cat -- I'm totally allergic!
Cat owner: Oh, don't worry about Mr. Squinkles, he's afraid of people. He'll never even come near you. He just runs away when -- oh, wow, look at that, he's coming right for you!
Cat: I LOVE YOU!
Allergic Human: *explodes*
That guy you've had a crush on for months now, who you just know is absolutely perfect for you, is going to end up getting together with that unbelievably skanky cougar the next cubicle over, even though they have absolutely nothing in common except MAYBE biology based on the carbon atom. It's like rain on your wedding day, Alanis.
This kind of thing happens all the time, and we just write it off to silly bad luck. However, it applies in spades during Friday the 13th, because of everyone running around in dread of some form of bad luck that's going to strike them like a greasy lightning bolt from the sky, Danny Zuko-style. By fearing it, these people attract bad luck! But you, O fortunate one, can take advantage of this fact by observing the Third Law.
It's all about energy. Positive energy and negative energy are constantly swirling around you in flux. Push some positivity this way, and negativity rushes in to fill the void. The universe maintains balance. So, it should naturally follow that while everyone's out there drawing in all this negative Friday the 13th energy, you're in a position to reap the benefits of the concomitant positive energy flow rushing in to fill the void! Don't know how? Here's what you do:
Although this might go against everything you've come to expect from life, go ahead and expect the best to happen. Make reservations for that restaurant you've always wanted to visit, yet is always booked solid. On Friday the 13th, you can get in. Drive downtown for a packed event: you'll find parking. Take that extra-long lunch: your boss will be too busy to notice. On Friday the 13th, pay close attention to your life. Happy accidents will occur, but you need to be in a receptive state to observe them! Take it from me. I was once an oblivious consumer, joylessly wandering through life, unaware that the entire time the universe was simply itching to give me gifts if only I'd been aware enough to recognize them. And now look at me! I have an amazing son who is already a Nathan Fillion times smarter than I'll ever be. I have this audiocast with which I'm free to express my pent-up ideas, and I have a thriving network of friends via Twitter!
It's all about expectations, kids. If you expect today to be horrible, then congratulations -- lemme know how that works out for you. But if you let yourself soak up the positive energy carelessly pushed away be so many people on a daily basis, then the world will roll in ecstasy at your feet.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to make a call to the Fab Five. We're planning a Very Special Episode of Queer Eye: Friday the 13th Part VIII.2: Jason Takes Manhattan... BY STORM. Freak Chic, baby! The new Voorhees line? It'll MURDER you.
I don't know why I feel this way
I don't know if it's right or wrong to laugh at misfortune
Darkness can never last too long
When you laugh in its face
-- "Only Makes Me Laugh", Oingo Boingo
Comments
But I loved this post, and must say, this was an extremely lucky day. Lots of great things happened. and of course you tweeted me, that helped! hehe :) Thanks for being awesome!